The Weigh In

Some of you may be new here but those who know me personally can say I have never had weight issues or been a big girl or even curvy. I desperately began to want curves in high school and the women in my family would laugh and assure me that the curves would eventually come in. I would be lying if I said that social media doesn’t play a part in our self image. Currently I’m at my heaviest that I have ever been in my life, Yes your reading that right I way more today than I did the day I gave birth to both of my children. How? well grab a cup I’m going to give all the tea on my weight gain and what has gone wrong and what has gone right as well as what’s next.

It would be unrealistic to remain a size 2 now that I’m in my late 20’s and mother of two. My pants size and the weight on a scale aren’t really goals for me either. I just want to feel like me and at peace within my own skin again. I am more concerned with my health than fitting in to a set body category. My weight first became noticeable for me right before conceiving Mahkai I was in college and taking the depo shot as a form of birth control. I went from weighing 128 to 150. I was at first happy with some of the weight but then as the weight continued I decided to stop birth control and just try my luck. Lets just say I was pregnant two months later. The first 6 months of the pregnancy I dropped weight and ended the pregnancy at 160lbs. I was the cute type of pregnant where you are all belly. Fast forward to Mahkai turning one I lost majority of the baby weight and was very comfortable. Although I didn’t have a six pack I could fit into all of my pre-preganacy clothes the snap back was real.

TURNING POINT

I began to spot during my second pregnancy I feared I was miscarrying so I went to the emergency room. After test and ultrasound the tech told me the baby was okay but the doctor would be in to see me right away. I knew in that moment something wasn’t right. Once the doctor came in he showed me scans of my uterus and had additional questions. First he asked if we had naturally conceived and I replied yes. Then he asked how many pregnancies I had previously and the history of the pregnancy. Well the pregnancy with Mahkai was pretty normal he did arrive a little early but all in all I thought it went well. The last question was had I ever heard about fibroids I shook my head no. He then said my pregnancy would be high risk and that I had two non cancerous tumors in my uterus that couldn’t be removed until after I gave birth and that the fibroids would cause me to have a difficult pregnancy and also would effect fertility in future. I left the hospital head low and scared. Well due to the growth of my fibroids I delivered a 1lb 8oz baby at 25 weeks via c section. I had never had a c section so the decision was made quickly to save our sons life which I’ll never regret but the healing and process of a c section is alot on the body. If I had to make the decision again I would sacrifice my body for my baby any day. The recovery was pure hell and looking back I dont know how I had the strength to return to work four days after the surgery.

I went back to work and immediately worked on my body little by little. Taking the steps cutting back on what I ate drinking water I even would take the steps over the elevator. I was quickly losing weight. Then the unthinkable happened I went for a woman’s annual and found out I would have to have another surgery due to endometriosis and fibroids. Surgery was in February 2020 and right when I was ready to go back to work quarantine hit. So the post surgery eating turned into quarantine snacking. I knew I had hit rock bottom when I made the kids chilli cheese dogs and I ate one. I mean my weight gain and food consumption got so bad I couldn’t fit in my wedding dress.

HERE WE ARE:

No longer making excuses but making the decision to change my lifestyle and make better choices. Also diving into learning how diet contributes and triggers my weight gain with endo and fibroids. There’s so much I cant eat that was apart of my daily routine. What you eat is 80% of the hurdle you have to cross when you want to cut weight. I’ve also accepted what I look like today and I embrace every curve every imperfection. The only hard part is being consistent having a schedule like mine no day really looks the same. I plan to lose weight naturally no keto, no Pinterest diet and most importantly no surgery. I plan to keep some of the weight because my man loves a little meat.

You have to be strong during the weight journey because people are going to notice and they are going to talk. If I had a dollar for each time my mother complained about my weight I’d be a millionaire. I encourage woman to find out if the weight gain or even loss is medical, mental or diet based. What I do now is remind myself that its less about weight and more about health. I would love to hear about your weight loss journey tips and tricks comment below.

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