Is it strange that I still cringe when people say “how many children do you have”. It’s like reality hits I have kid(Z) now. Not one but two. So how has it been? How was the transition? Well I must say, nothing was ever the same again if you don’t believe me ask my back.
Parents first question when going from one to two is are we READY? My transition from one to two was different giving birth to Mahir a micro preemie, Mahkai was terrified to touch him at first. When we would go to hospital Mahkai would say “my brother is in a spaceship”. I was able to get my oldest out of pull ups before the baby came home. Which I was so proud of , I always said I didn’t want two children in diapers at the same time. Now looking back at the diaper dilemma seems minor to what that transition has been.
Here we where second child also not planned but feeling safe because our boys where 2 years and 10 months apart. Thinking the journey to two children would be smooth “THE LIES”. Mahkai almost being 3 we assumed he wanted a sibling that he was ready and we where so wrong. He would be jealous and throw fits. Mahkai still crawls in our bed to snuggle at 4am every morning, if I lay the now toddler on my chest Mahkai will follow close behind to lay on me as well. Before yall give me the oh I’ve read this and that you should try x,y and z. Trust me I have we did the sibling cakes, had several conversations we even have went as far as family builders.
So how did we overcome and find balance? We havent each day is new one may be having a melt down about cookies while the other needs help with homework. We now work as a team and value our children as individuals instead of grouping them as one “the boys”. The first few months I was cheesy yall, matching shirts and outfits every single day. We are now aware that cognitively and emotionally they are in two very different stages of life. While Mahir is beginning to talk, Mahkai is well on his way of becoming an academic scholar. We have different activities for the boys now different toys and even different rules.
The icing on the cake is their bond. I grew up alone for 10 years and now that I have a brother I’m more like an auntie or a second mom to him. While Mahkai and Mahir are growing up together sharing toys and tv shows, having fights over snacks. Ultimately they are best friends. I didnt force everything to fall together it organically happened, we just magically found a way one day. My only regret is putting the pressure of the idea that I had done this “mother thing” before and expecting everything to be the same. So approach the transition as something new but prepare as much as you can but when things dont go as planned find a new plan. If all fails then have a glass of wine and know that tomorrow is a new day,